Hazy
by ebidebi
Summary: Persona 3. Akihiko deals with possession and his feelings for Mitsuru, while sorting out his priorities from his desires.


Akihiko awoke, his mind in a fog. Where was he? He was sitting on something soft, and was surrounded by red. As the walls of the room he was in came into focus, he found that his mind would not. And then he heard something.

"She's coming for you."

A door opened to his left, and he turned to see a figure emerge from a cloud of steam. Red hair. It was Mitsuru. She was veiled in steam, but he could see that she was only wearing a towel.

Once he could get a better look at her, his breath caught in his throat. She was incredible. Mitsuru was practically naked, looking at him in a way he had never before seen, at least while he was awake.

Was he even awake now?

He heard the voice again.

"You want her. You've wanted her for years, and here she is."

She was stunning, looking at him so intensely, so seductively. Like she was with in love with him.

Love.

He was in love with her, it was true. But since Mitsuru never gave any indication of returning those feelings, he had pushed them aside. They were just a distraction anyhow. But today, training was the last thing on his mind.

"She wants you, you know. Let go of your inhibitions."

Mitsuru began to stride toward him, her wet hair clinging to her pale shoulders. She looked so soft, just as he had always imagined. The look on her face was enticingly curious. But...

"She wants you just as much as you want her. There's nothing wrong."

Mitsuru wanted him?

She was coming closer, eyes locked on his. Her eyes were seductive but hazy, tender but clouded. He vaguely wondered what she saw in his own eyes, if she saw the love or the lust that had arisen within him since she had emerged from the steam-filled room.

Maybe she was in love with him. She, like him, seemed to be too focused on the battle to deal with romance, but maybe she was hiding her feelings just as he was.

"You only have a duty to each other, as a man and woman. It's only natural."

Mitsuru was mere inches from him.

"Akihiko," she breathed, bringing a hand to his face as she stood above him. She had never said his name like that.

"Why are you holding back?" the voice asked.

Why was he? Mitsuru was touching him, still looking at him like he never imagined she could, but something wasn't right.

Slowly, Mitsuru lowered herself onto his lap, and his hands went to either side of her waist, of their own accord.

Something wasn't right, but Akihiko didn't think having Mitsuru in his arms was the problem. He was well aware of the fact that his pants were the only thing separating himself from her. How did she get here?

She was incredible, she was straddling him, she was moments away from being completely nude, and her lips looked so delectable, when he dared to look away from her eyes.

He tightened his grip on her waist. It was amazing, holding her. She was always so strong, and here she was, giving herself to him. He wanted to kiss her, if only once. But...

"Do it," the voice beckoned.

Something held him back, and Mitsuru took the opportunity to begin to undress him. He could only watch as Mitsuru removed his vest and shirt, her hands running up and down his arms and chest. He had always thought that there was no better feeling than the soreness in his muscles after a good workout. That was no longer the case.

Mitsuru ran her arms down his back. Akihiko kept his arms on her waist, but one of his hands had found it's way inside the towel. He was afraid of removing her towel, but he vaguely remembered wanting to feel her skin. As wonderful as this felt, it was as if a nagging feeling deep within him kept telling him something was wrong.

Their faces were just a breath apart, but there was a fog in his head he just couldn't clear.

"Mitsuru," he whispered. He could have sworn he heard her let out a tiny moan.

When had she removed his belt? He must have forgotten. He felt every move she made on his lap, but he couldn't shake the idea that this wasn't right. He couldn't even remember how they had gotten there.

"Give in. You both want to."

Mitsuru had closed her eyes, and their noses were touching. He parted his lips and could feel the heat from her mouth on his. It wouldn't take much to close the distance. He had wanted this for so long, but Mitsuru had never seemed to like him in the same way. How could he trust this voice? Mitsuru seemed to want him, but was it her own choice? Why was she acting this way?

He could barely remember what had led up to this moment, it was as blurry as his vision. This wasn't how he had imagined it. This wasn't him. He was following the instructions of some voice.

Akihiko respected Mitsuru. She was his dear friend. He could control his desire. He was in love with her, but something was wrong. This was wonderful, but something was off.

There was something he had to do. There was something they had to do, before they could ever do this. And he had to know that Mitsuru really wanted it, and he had to want it himself. Hearing voices in a hazy room wasn't the way he wanted it. There was a more important matter. The others were waiting. The shadow needed to be destroyed.

The shadow, that was it.

"Stop." His head cleared. The voice was gone, and it all came crashing into reality for him. He was in a love hotel to fight the shadow that Fuuka had traced. The other SEES members were waiting for them. Mitsuru was on his lap, wrapped in a pink towel, his own arms snaked around her waist. How did they get here? He couldn't remember what had happened; it was as if he had awoken from a dream that was already slipping away. There had been a voice, and there had been steam, but that was all he could remember. It must have been some kind of possession, maybe by the shadow?

Mitsuru was gonna kill him. But as soon as the fear came, he realized that her hands rested on the bare skin of his hips, under his pants. What was going on? He looked at her face for answers.

Mitsuru looked hurt and disappointed, but her eyes were glassy. Was she under some sort of possession?

"Snap out of it, Mitsuru!" he said, pushing her away as gently as possible. She stood up from his lap and looked at him in disbelief.

Then, Mitsuru backed away from him, reaching for the top of her towel. Then, she said something that completely flattened him.

"Don't you want me?" Her hands were dangerously close to removing her towel.

Despite an amazing amount of sexual frustration and longing, Akihiko stood abruptly, doing his best to hold his half-open pants up. This wasn't Mitsuru, and as much as he wanted her, his honor wouldn't let him take her.

"Of course I do!" he shouted, not able to avoid the truth. "But now's not the time. Remember? The shadow! The others are waiting for us!" He had to stop her. As badly as he wanted to forget the mission and continue these activities, Mitsuru was clearly not herself. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he took advantage of her.

Mitsuru blinked several times, and Akihiko's initial fear returned. What would she do when she found them like this? She didn't take kindly to lecherous guys, and despite being her closest friend, he doubted she would make an exception for him.

Mitsuru's eyes cleared. She looked from the half-naked Akihiko to her towel-clad self, and without a word, she retreated to the bathroom. She had never looked at him like that before. It was like they had just met.

Akihiko was stunned and confused. Was she angry? Embarrassed? Normally, he could read her feelings, but today he couldn't. Maybe it was just because she had snapped out of her trance.

He gathered his clothes and got dressed, wondering what Mitsuru was thinking. Just after he had put on his vest, Mitsuru emerged from the bathroom. He looked up and their eyes met. There was something familiar about her look. After a moment, she finally spoke.

"Akihiko." Her voice was soft. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."  
She didn't sound angry.

"I'm sorry Mitsuru," he replied, upset with himself. "I should have seen that we were being possessed sooner. It must have been the shadow." But Mitsuru wasn't listening.

"Akihiko," her voice was barely above a whisper. He had not seen her so vulnerable in a long time. "Do you have feelings for me?"

He felt a sudden snap of déjà vu. He and Mitsuru had been moments away from giving in to each other, but he had hesitated and came to. Mitsuru had taken a little longer. What did that mean? He had no idea what to do or say.

How could he respond? Of course he had feelings for her, but there were more important things right now than their relationship, and she should know better. Losing control was so foreign. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy touching Mitsuru - he had loved it. But the timing was completely wrong, and without the haze of the shadow's possession, his fear was taking over.

"It doesn't matter," he insisted, channeling his hot and bothered state into urgency. A good battle would give him something upon which to work out this frustration...other than Mitsuru. "We need to find the others! The Dark Hour won't last forever." His head and his body didn't agree on this matter, but he knew he couldn't devote himself to training if he was with Mitsuru. He had to become stronger. If they stayed here much longer, he wouldn't be able to resist. He wasn't used to his primal desire taking control of him, but he didn't exactly hate it, and he didn't trust himself right now.

"Akihiko, I," she began. She looked away from him. It sounded like she wanted to say something more, but she stopped herself. "You're right. I apologize." Her voice was short with a touch of regret. What had she wanted to say? Did she have feelings for him, too?

No, it couldn't be. She didn't feel that way about him. It was just some shadow's possession. She must have still been coming to.

He had to tell himself that, because if he let himself wonder, he wasn't sure he could handle the possibilities right now. He preferred to be her close friend and admire her strength, because he was sure he wasn't her type. One-sided love was just a distraction and he didn't want to bother with it.

Training hadn't even crossed his mind when they were holding each other, but he hadn't been himself. Of course, now that he remembered having Mitsuru on his lap, he wasn't sure if the memory would ever leave him. At school, he could have his pick of the girls, but Mitsuru was the only girl on his mind, and even she didn't fit in with his plans. He had to become stronger, and he didn't feel ashamed of being one-track minded. He owed it to Miki. Mitsuru knew it, too.

"Let's go," she muttered. "I'm sorry to take time away from your training."

Clearly, she was angry now. But he didn't allow himself to think about the implications in her tone of voice. Maybe someday they could discuss it, maybe someday they would continue, but they both knew now wasn't the time. Akihiko was okay with it, at least for now. Even if she did want him back, which he doubted, she knew him better than anyone.

However, as Mitsuru brushed past him on her way to the main door, he found that he couldn't resist reaching out and catching her waist with one hand. If this was the only moment they had, he wanted to savor it a little bit.

She turned to him, and they locked eyes. He had another flash of déjà vu.

Maybe there was something there, even if he couldn't act on it yet. Maybe she would wait until he could handle it.

Mitsuru was still upset, maybe at herself, but something was there. He wasn't ready for it, and she might not realize it, but maybe they had planted the seed for something more. He couldn't think about it now. He wouldn't let himself.

His hand didn't linger too long before she led the way through the door to meet up with the others.

Someday he'd be able to tell her. He just hoped she would still be there.


End file.
